Observations: I attended a PLATINUM wedding. I mean, it was LAVISH, custom made furniture, 10k of liquor, limos and Bentleys. A fabulous dress, Tiffany's gifts for the wedding party. I never thought I would see this type of lifestyle beyond TV programs like the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. Did I mention the Cuban woman who was brought in to hand roll cigars for the guests? The Multi-teared rum cake with some kind of candy coating? The fabulous wedding dress and the Platinum colored raw silk suit the groom wore?
Feelings: I am so excited to report that I have served as the Matron of Honor for my favorite student! She was wed in London on June 22 and I have a ton of photographs. I can't really express how happy I was to see her truly in love! As I watched and helped her craft her day it reminded me of the love I share with my husband. I hope that she finds as much joy as I have in my relationship!
Reflections: This wedding was a lot of hard work for the Bride and Groom. They wanted everything to be perfect, and in my opinion it was...but everything has a downside.
For example ...The very expensive swarovski crystal toasting glasses were misplaced by the wait staff (read probably stolen)...the fact that the Wedding Planner and the wait staff did not seem to know each other worked against effective execution of many of the special plans...the venue was 1.5 hours away from the city which was hard on everyone...I know it probably cost more than I make in a year to pull the whole thing off which is none of my business, but it is a reflection, because afterwards all you really have from a wedding is the photos. As much love as they have (I mean heat was emanating from them during the ceremony) they could have been alone on a beach in the South Pacific and it would have been just as beautiful. However, then I would not have been able to enjoy it nor would the other guests.
In the end I think weddings are really for the families not the bride and the groom. The bride and the groom get the least out of the deal. They spend all of this time stressing and planning for the perfect day and then people come in eat the food, complain and drop off a small gift that would not cover the cost of their meal. Why do we keep going for this? Who encourages these kinds of choices? Is it socialization or the type of symbolic ritual that supports our culture? I watched the Wedding channel and it made me think that I had not spent as much time and effort on my own wedding. But, I remember being Bridezilla! I refused to come out and walk down the isle because someone had misplaced my bouquet! I held the entire wedding up because I would not walk until someone went across the street and retrieved my bouquet from another building. I wrote a script for the entire wedding. I had everyone mapped out like it was a play! So although I did not spend as much money, I certainly spent as much time obsessing about details that I can't even remember now. I wonder if I did research on the cost of weddings and the associated memories and value people have for what they did a year later, what would it reveal? What about if the people get divorced? Does your divorce hurt more if you had a lavish wedding versus a courthouse ceremony?? Or is it just about the loss. Does the scale of the wedding ritual relate to the length of the relationship? Does doing it all in front of all of these people help keep you together in the long run....at least a little?
